Redneck jokes

New Rooster

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens.  read more »

Valentines, Redneck Style

Kudzu is green, my dog's name is BlueAnd I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out  read more »

Expensive Fishing Trip

Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip.

They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.

The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.

It goes on like this until finally, on the last  read more »

Redneck Driving Applications

Redneck Driver's Application

Plez compleet this paper, best ya can.Last name: ________________

First name:[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]NoneShoe Size: ____ Left ____ RightO  read more »

Getting The Story Straight

When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.

"Well, th  read more »