Lawyer jokes

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in s  read more »

Smartest Man in the World

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.  read more »

Lawyer In Hell

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man.  read more »

Billing

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawy  read more »

The Priest, Policeman & Lawyer

The miser knew he was dying and he wanted to take his $30,000 life savings with him when he passes away.

He summoned his 3 friends to his bedside. He knew he could trust them, but not completely as to entrust the entire sum to any one of them. So he split the savings amongst the 3 of them, $10,000 each, with instructions that they should put the money into his coffin when he was being buried. The 3 men, a priest, a policeman, and a lawyer, solemly agreed to do so.

The miser, was then relieved, he knew that they would do as he bidded, or at least one of them would, and he would have his money even when he has died.

Soon he passed away.

After the miser was buried, the 3 men stood together and looked at the ground.
The priest said, "I have a confession to make, you know the $10,000, I think it is a waste to put all that money into the coffin, so I took $1,000 and put the rest into the coffin."

The policeman said shamefully, "I too thought the same way, but I took $5,000 and put the rest into the coffin."

The lawyer declared, "I am ashamed of the two of you."  read more »

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