Doctor jokes

Need Samples

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"

"What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."

Actual Medical Charts

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The skin was moist and dry.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

Between you and me  read more »

The Faith Healer

Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on theirvarious disorders.

"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible."

"I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here.  read more »

A Mother at 65!

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby.

All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.

When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet."

A little later they ask to see the baby again.

Again the mother says "not yet."

Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"

A  read more »

An Amazing Connection With God

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.

The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?"

And the man says, "Oh me and God?  read more »
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