Computer jokes

Dear God...

Dear God,

Yesterday was an awful day for me..

My husband ran off with his secretary.My son pierced his eyebrow.My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head.My dog mated with the neighbours cat.My neighbour sold her house to a mental institution.My Mom told me I was adopted.My boss told me I was laid off.My sister was arrested for prostitution.My house has termites.My car was st  read more »

You've been programming too long when

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to th  read more »

Downturn in the StockMarket

Telltale signs of a downturn in the Stockmarket...

=> NASDAQ seen in waterfront dive getting gooned on port shooters.

=> You've just called your investment house and the first thing they tell you is the soup of the day.

=> U.S.  read more »

Gates and Lightbulb

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb??A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard.

Car Trouble 3

There are three engineers in a car: an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.

Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a faultmight have occurred.

The chemica  read more »