Bar jokes

Can I Smell Something

A guy goes into a bar and seats himself next to a hot looking woman. After a few drinks he musters the courage to talk to her. After a few more drinks and a little conversation he leans over to the woman and asks, "Can I smell your Pussy?"

The woman is outraged and answers with a stern, "Of course not!"

The drunk man replies......."Oh, then it must be your feet."

Stages of Drunkeness

0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra.  read more »

Bad News 2

A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots?  read more »

A Drinking Problem

I have got a drinking problem....

I've got two hands, but only one mouth...

Proud Texan Father

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar.  read more »
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