Bar jokes

Pork Scratchings

Three Guys go to a bar for a drink. After finishing the first round two of the guys go out for a fag. A woman approaches the guy left at the bar and offers him £50 to scratch the scabs off her private part. The guy willingly accepts, does the job puts the scabs in a bag and tosses it out the window. He then runs out to his friends ecstatic after thanking the lady and says....  read more »

Two Drunks

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
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Blind Man In Bar

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting  read more »

three old drunks

there was these three old drunks  and one always stayed out later than the other two so they asked him does your wife ever get mad at you for staying out late and he replied no when i get home i tiptoe thru the house up the stairs into the bedroom crawl under the covers and have oral sex with her till she  has several orgasms and everthings is alright with the other old drunk said ill  read more »

Death in the Family

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible.

What's the problem?"

"My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months.  read more »