Animal jokes

Gorilla's birthday gift

Q: What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!


A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices little johnny next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. The boy is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.
The firefighter says, "Hey little partner, what are you doing?"

little johnny says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. That's sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration.

Thanks mister," johnny says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices that johnny has tied the wagon to the dog's collar, and to the cat's testicles. The boy says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Gorilla in the pub...

Everyone was amazed to see gorilla came in to pub. Gorilla asked bartender for martini and passed 10 buks, bartender was shocked but served drink and was watching gorilla enjoying martini... Bartender returned dollar in change to Gorilla and said: "You know... we don't get many gorillas in here...".

And Gorilla replied: "9 buks for a drink... I'm not surprised..."

Test for smart people...

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

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