Your Mama's So Ugly
*she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she was hit with the ugly log!
*kids dress up as her for Halloween!
*she makes blind children cry!
*you could stick her face in dough and it would make monster cookies!
*I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."!
*if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it!
*people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen!
*people hang her picture in their basements to scare the rats away!
*she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning!
*her shadow ran away from her!
*I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application!
*I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a pay check!
*people at the circus pay money not to see her!
*she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork!
*that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!
*that she went to an ugly contest and they said "sorry no professionals"!
*just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."!
*her face is closed on weekends!
*her dentist treats her by mail-order!
*she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back!
*the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
*when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks!
*when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her!
*that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team!
*when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes!
*they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty!
*she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking!
*she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks!
*she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"!
*she hurts my feelings!
*she gets 7 years bad luck when ever trying to look at herself in the mirror!
*Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
*even the elephant man paid to see her!
*even the tide won't come back in!
*that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair!
*your dad takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye!
*when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows!
*they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks!
*she has to trick or treat over the phone!
*she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares!
*my dog took one look at her and ran away!
*her pillow cries at night!
*she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."!
*that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot!
*you're dad first met her at the pound!
*when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents!
*she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her!
*if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away!
*it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym!
*they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints!
*when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains!
*when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras!
*she has to creep up on water to get a drink!
*her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her!
*they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars!
*they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
*she practices birth control by leaving the lights on!
*we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation!
*the psychiatrist makes her lie face down!
*Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant!
*her face is like a peice of modern art you can't tell what it is!
*Medusa is jealous!
*her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel!
*she could scare the moss off a rock!!
*she has to creep up on her makeup!
*it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries!
*when she was born the doctor smacked everyone!
*when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming!
*kids dress up as her for Halloween!
*she makes blind children cry!
*you could stick her face in dough and it would make monster cookies!
*I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."!
*if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it!
*people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen!
*people hang her picture in their basements to scare the rats away!
*she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning!
*her shadow ran away from her!
*I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application!
*I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a pay check!
*people at the circus pay money not to see her!
*she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork!
*that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!
*that she went to an ugly contest and they said "sorry no professionals"!
*just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."!
*her face is closed on weekends!
*her dentist treats her by mail-order!
*she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back!
*the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
*when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks!
*when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her!
*that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team!
*when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes!
*they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty!
*she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking!
*she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks!
*she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"!
*she hurts my feelings!
*she gets 7 years bad luck when ever trying to look at herself in the mirror!
*Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
*even the elephant man paid to see her!
*even the tide won't come back in!
*that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair!
*your dad takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye!
*when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows!
*they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks!
*she has to trick or treat over the phone!
*she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares!
*my dog took one look at her and ran away!
*her pillow cries at night!
*she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."!
*that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot!
*you're dad first met her at the pound!
*when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents!
*she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her!
*if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away!
*it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym!
*they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints!
*when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains!
*when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras!
*she has to creep up on water to get a drink!
*her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her!
*they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars!
*they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
*she practices birth control by leaving the lights on!
*we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation!
*the psychiatrist makes her lie face down!
*Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant!
*her face is like a peice of modern art you can't tell what it is!
*Medusa is jealous!
*her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel!
*she could scare the moss off a rock!!
*she has to creep up on her makeup!
*it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries!
*when she was born the doctor smacked everyone!
*when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming!
