Out of Paper!

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a crap."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass."

The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar.  read more »

Celtic Supporters Club

Mick was attending his Celtic Supporters Club's monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn't make the upcoming Glasgow trip because his missus wouldn't let him go.

After copping the under the thumb remarks and other derisive remarks Mick left to go back home to the missus.  read more »

Spaghetti

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child.  read more »

Bar Chatup

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.

After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at thetop of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.  read more »

Flat Tummy

There was a small boy who was put to bed by his parents. The boy had a nightmare, and got out of bed to go to his parents room.

When he got there, he saw mommy bouncing up and down on daddy. When his dad noticed him in the doorway, the kid ran away.

The mother got off and got dressed quickly, and went to the boy's room.  read more »
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